This was a draft copy of the actual speach written about a week before, so although it doesn't contain the whole speech it contains the majority of the content

Complement the bride

The Gossip on Charlie

 As far as I’m aware Charlie start his life as an Angelic blue eyed boy who was always the teachers pet, and never put a foot wrong (show photo). He also realised that from an early age that he wanted to become part of the Queens fighting force and join the army (show photo). He started his army training at an early age by riding bicycles as fast as he could into solid stone walls.

When did I met Charlie

  Well I’d heard lots of talk about Charlie at school but it took me a few years before I met him. The reason for his fame was because he was always jumping off bigger rock faces, and doing longer walks than everybody else. Needless to say that before I met him I hated him. It therefore came as quite a shock to me when I finally met him and liked him.

 Charlie however had one big problem; this was to haunt him for the next 5 years of his life.

Stripy Shirts!

They came in a variety of colours although red was his favourite. As far a Charlie was concerned the only thing to wear was a stripy shirt; T-shirts and plain shirt should only be used as cannon fodder. Unfortunately for Charlie most of the girls he persuade did not have the same opinion about his stripy shirt.

I also started to realise that Charlie was a bit of a nut case. One day we decided to go rock climbing, so we climbed to the top of a rock face and set up a rock climbing anchor point. I suggested checking the anchor point like most people by giving the rope a good tug and a waggle to check it will hold before venturing over the cliff face. Not Charlie! He said there only one way to test an anchor point and jumped off the cliff, fortunately for me and of course Heidi it held.

Well Charlie ventured off to university and started to blend into typical student life. An mg open top sports car, champagne breakfasts and a DJ which he spent almost as much time in as his stripy shirts, which of course still held pride of place in his casual wardrobe. But his main occupation other than chasing women, and note I didn’t say catching, was the OTC or for us none army people the Officer Training Core. This trained Charlie in techniques such as how to steal explosives off demolition sites.

 Charlie finally joined the army full time and did his years training at Sandhurst. He then joined the commando’s and after his practice of riding bikes into stone walls at an early age he proceed to break a leg and an arm attempting to be come a commando. Unfortunately his car was in as bad shape as Charlie's and started rotting due to the stench of Charlie’s pile of socks moulding in the back seat. The car was never to recover; neither did his friends who rode in it. Charlie spent the next few years running around from country to country, blowing up the wrong mountains with his big guns and knocking down trees with his tanks. Finally he ended up in Plymouth, in his castle. So I decided to go and visit him. After checking out the book in the officers mess which showed how many pints pretty girls were, rated none to 15 pints we head of to the GX. On the way I asked is it good? Its nicked named the Groin exchange, its full of sexy nurses he smiled. One month later he announced he’d meet this great girl and tried to sound respectable when he said she a sexy nurse I meet down the groin exchange. How many pints pretty is she I enquired. None he said! Well finally the day arrived for Charlie’s friends to meet Charlie’s new girlfriend Heidi. It was a party at Charlie and Ruth’s flat but where were Charlie Heidi. After 2 hours of being unable to get out of Charlie’s bedroom due to a problem with the lock. We all finally meet Heidi and were after careful questioning from the posy, helped along by some Jameson in Charlie’s favourite way drunken not mixed we all decided that Charlie had made a good decision. Well a couple of years later Charlie popped the question before running off to Canada, Kenya etc and finally decided to give up his career in the army for life with Heidi and a Chicken packing factory, or should I say IT. He certainly seems happy and content and from one friend to another I think you’ve made a great choice Charlie.

If I have any friends left after this speech I’ll meet you down the bar later.

And finally can I propose a toast to the lovely bride Heidi and my best friend Charlie.