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 Think & Grow Rich - Napoleon Hill
 Good to Great - Jim Collins
 Discover Your Strengths - M Buckingham
 7 Habits of Highly Effective- Stephen Covey
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 Maverick Mindset - John Elliot
 Vocal Power - Roger Love
 Quantum Memory - Dominic O'Brien
 Getting Things Done - David Allen
A Short History of Nearly Everything- B Bryson



 The Key Skill in Life - Rapport


Reading Time 2 minutes & 50 seconds    For a Podcast of this thought please click here Or iPod & iTunes - Users Click Here


RapportWell this topic seems to be entering into my life quite a lot at the moment. I noticed I didn't have it when I was trying to persuade my daughter not to do something the other day, it was the subject at the NLP group I attend, and it popped into my conversation when a colleague of mine said


"There is just something about them that make me feel uneasy" 


Peter Thompson suggests that with this YOU CAN SAY ANYTHING and the other person will TRULY LISTEN without offense to what you've said.


So what is the topic. It is the ability to create Rapport.


Wikipedia says " Rapport is one of the most important features or characteristics of unconscious human interaction" and

" a feeling of harmonious connection between people or groups of people"


Some people say it is the most important skill in life to achieve success.


There is loads of advice on the web and in NLP books on how to create rapport, but the advice all boils down to these three steps


1) Firstly get on the same wavelength with whom ever you wish to influence

2) Then seek to truly understand their point of view

3) Final describe or explain your perspective on the subject and emphasis the common ground you have with them.

Whatever you do don't try and fake being in rapport, or try and technique someone,.

Because people always notice even if they can't articulate the problem, remember its a unconscious human interaction.


To truly get on the same wavelength as someone you can find mutual interests, match their energy, posture or language.

Then once you have that harmonious connection. Your ready to seek out an understand on their view on anything, through questions and listening and consideration

Before finally their ready to really listen to your view.


So I pondered how many wasted debates have I've have.

Debates where because I'd won, I'd kidded myself others had change their perspective when really they hadn't

Or worse debates which turned into arguments which ended in anger, conflict or mistrust

All because so often I dished out my perspective before WE had rapport.


Till next week enjoy building rapport with the people you want to influence


Thanks for listening

David Gardner


 Recommended Books


getting things done

  Good to Great - Jim Collins 
  7 Habits - Stephen Covey
  The Automatic Millionaire -David Bach
  Discover you Strengths - M Buckingham 
  Richard Branson's Auto biography
  Brilliant Memory - Dominic O'Brien
  Think & Grow Rich -  Napoleon Hill 
  Freakonomics - Stephen Levitt
 Getting Things Done - David Allen
 The Machine That Changed the World
 Watching the English - Kate Fox
A Short History of Nearly Everything- B Bryson


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