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"THE ACHIEVERS EDGE"
The Key Skill in Life - Rapport
Reading Time 2 minutes & 50 seconds For a Podcast of this thought please click here Or iPod & iTunes - Users Click Here
Well
this topic seems to be entering into my life quite a lot at the moment. I
noticed I didn't have it when I was trying to persuade my daughter not to
do something the other day, it was the subject at the NLP group I attend,
and it popped into my conversation when a colleague of mine said
"There is just something about them that make me feel uneasy"
Peter Thompson suggests that with this YOU CAN SAY ANYTHING and the other person will TRULY LISTEN without offense to what you've said.
So what is the topic. It is the ability to create Rapport.
Wikipedia says " Rapport is one of the most important features or characteristics of unconscious human interaction" and
" a feeling of harmonious connection between people or groups of people"
Some people say it is the most important skill in life to achieve success.
There is loads of advice on the web and in NLP books on how to create rapport, but the advice all boils down to these three steps
1) Firstly get on the same wavelength with whom ever you wish to influence
2) Then seek to truly understand their point of view
3) Final describe or explain your perspective on the subject and emphasis the common ground you have with them.
Whatever you do don't try and fake being in rapport, or try and technique someone,.
Because people always notice even if they can't articulate the problem, remember its a unconscious human interaction.
To truly get on the same wavelength as someone you can find mutual interests, match their energy, posture or language.
Then once you have that harmonious connection. Your ready to seek out an understand on their view on anything, through questions and listening and consideration
Before finally their ready to really listen to your view.
So I pondered how many wasted debates have I've have.
Debates where because I'd won, I'd kidded myself others had change their perspective when really they hadn't
Or worse debates which turned into arguments which ended in anger, conflict or mistrust
All because so often I dished out my perspective before WE had rapport.
Till next week enjoy building rapport with the people you want to influence
David Gardner
The Automatic Millionaire -David Bach Discover you Strengths - M Buckingham Richard Branson's Auto biography Brilliant Memory - Dominic O'Brien Think & Grow Rich - Napoleon Hill Freakonomics - Stephen Levitt Getting Things Done - David Allen The Machine That Changed the World Watching the English - Kate Fox
Do you want less stress and more time
You only have 30s to make a first impression
What's hardwired into your brain
The Pelican's followed Buffets advice
Three blind men and an elephant
Everyone Someone Anyone and No-One
Zealots, opponents and golden supporters
I use Amazon for books
There are loads of great audio programs at Nightingale Conant's ,web site here,
![Richard Branson's Auto biography](http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0753510200?ie=UTF8&tag=thoofthewee03-21&linkCode=as2&camp=1634&creative=6738&creativeASIN=0753510200"><img border="0" src="0753510200.01._AA_SCMZZZZZZZ_.jpg"></a><img src="http://www.assoc-am){kind=link}
![Brilliant Memory - Dominic O'Brien](http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1844831531?ie=UTF8&tag=thoofthewee03-21&linkCode=as2&camp=1634&creative=6738&creativeASIN=1844831531"><img border="0" src="1844831531.02._AA_SCMZZZZZZZ_.jpg"></a><img src="http://www.assoc-am){kind=link}