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Is Getting Divorced an Easy Decision? - Week 48

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People get divorced because they get bored and it’s an easy decision to make” she said


I was at my sister's birthday party and I happened to sit near one of her old school friends, a friend I hadn't seen for a decade. During the course of the normal formalities I asked her what she was up to now. She said she was a family lawyer and having graduated from Cambridge University, I assume she's a pretty good one!


So I asked the question

“Why do people get divorced?


After explaining various circumstances where people get divorced, whilst appearing quite un-opinionated as to whether these people should have got divorced, she summed up with

“Well people normally get divorced because they get bored and it’s an easy decision to make.”

She then clarified herself by saying that this wasn't the only reason, but in her opinion quite often it was the main reason.


However what I thought was most interesting, was that she said it was an “easy decision”, because this type of decision (e.g. a decision about relationships, money, career change etc) is usually referred to by people as “a difficult decision”.

Again she clarified herself  by saying (this time I've paraphrased) that even though this decision may have a huge number of painful consequences, the decision itself was easy and simple, in fact it was probably the easiest and the simplest way to resolve their relationship problems, providing they accepted the consequences, even if they didn't know what they were.


Her comment reminded me of the Acres of Diamonds story where an old African farmer left his farm looking for diamonds when there were literally acres of diamonds on the farm he left. The issue was he didn't know what a raw diamond looked like, in the end he threw himself into the ocean a broken man. In this story his decision to go off to look for diamonds was a simple and easy decision in his quest for wealth. So on reflection I wondered

  • What would have happened if the farmer had gone and spent time learning how to find and spot diamonds?

  • What other options do you have if you're not happy with your relationship other than divorce?

But my main thought is

  • How often do I take the "difficult decision" also called the "easy decision" when maybe there's a braver, more complex and rewarding alternative strategy.

Till next week make rewarding decisions

David Gardner





 Recommended Audio CD's
By Peter Thompson
More Great CD Programs
 Think & Grow Rich - Napoleon Hill
 Good to Great - Jim Collins
 Psychology of Achievement - Brian Tracy
 Discover Your Strengths - M Buckingham
 7 Habits of Highly Effective- Stephen Covey
 Rich Dads Secrets - Robert Kiyosaki
 Maverick Mindset - John Elliot
 Vocal Power - Roger Love
 Quantum Memory - Dominic O'Brien
 Getting Things Done - David Allen
A Short History of Nearly Everything- B Bryson


 Recommended Books

 Good to Great - Jim Collins 
  7 Habits - Stephen Covey
  The Automatic Millionaire -David Bach
  Discover you Strengths - M Buckingham 
  Richard Branson's Auto biography
  Brilliant Memory - Dominic O'Brien
  Think & Grow Rich -  Napoleon Hill 
  Freakonomics - Stephen Levitt
 Getting Things Done - David Allen
 The Machine That Changed the World
 Watching the English - Kate Fox
A Short History of Nearly Everything- B Bryson



The Hudson Bay Start

How to Live on 24hrs a day

Water in the Brain

Jamie's Food for Thought

Betchaican the Wiseman Way

Old Lang Syne

Who Made the World?

The Latte Factor

The Fox and the Hedgehog

Life Balance the Da Vinci Way

Peace of Mind

The Miss World Quiz

The Road is better than the Inn

Did the Elephant Remember?

Can't See the Wood for the Trees

Dutch Courage

Talk with Relevance

Milo the Greek

A Boy called No

Bluebird - A pint of Ale &  water speed record

Visualising an Argument with Alien Bowling

Old Friends lead to New Thoughts

Bad Driver

Space Shuttle designed on a horses backside

Back to the Future

The Mexican Boatman & "Harvard MBA".

The World in Perspective

Acres of Diamonds

First impressions in 30s

The Two Minute Rule

 Noughts and Crosses

 Think and Grow Rich

 3 Blind Men & An Elephant
Someone Everyone Anyone No-one
12 Questions to High Performance
The Bee Can't Fly but No-one told the bee
The Maverick Mindset of Baseball
Three Men and a Boat
Two Cannibals & a Beautiful Girl
The Meaning of Life  
What was your name again?
Two Frogs
Is Common Sense Possible
An Architects Vision
Does Edison Turn Your Light On


Other books and CDs I've mentioned can be found here

There are loads of great audio programs at Nightingale Conant's ,web site here,